by Mark Parker
10. Hey, I borrowed your tarp the other day—you don’t have another one that’s not quite as flammable, do you?
9. Your cows are out ... again.
8. Your cows haven’t been out for several days—is everything okay?
7. We’re all out of replant seed for that hybrid but we have some really nice miniature Indian corn seed I can let you have.
6. I know your cows like to swim in the pond but this is the first time I’ve seen one doing the backstroke.
5. Sorry you’ve missed the last couple of rural water district board meetings but congratulations, you’re the new chairman.
4. You can pick up your tractor but you might want to bring a tow rope.
3. The good news is that we’ve located a substantial percentage of your pen of steers that got out during the storm.
2. So—funny story—it turns out that the used waterer I sold you has lead and asbestos components.
1. This is Bob from the Environmental Protection Agency ...