by Mark Parker
10. There’s a kid with a purple Mohawk and an Elvis tattoo on his face but people seem to be staring at your cowboy hat.
9. There’s more traffic in the convenience store parking lot than there is on Main Street back home.
8. Learning that you can’t leave your keys in your pickup gets to be a pricey lesson.
7. Trying to help that poor girl who somehow got a safety pin stuck in her nose darn near gets you arrested.
6. Oddly, if your dog bites the ever-livin’ out of some guy trying to break into your vehicle, you’re the one who gets in trouble.
5. None of the neighbors will loan you anything and none of them have a rain gauge.
4. You can’t find a restaurant that will cover everything with gravy.
3. Back home, you rarely have to worry about your pocket knife setting off a metal detector.
2. You spend a lot of time studying the “You are here” map at the mall and trying to find your way out.
1. It takes you a while to figure out that people on the freeway aren’t giving you the “we’re #1” hand sign.
