by Mark Parker
AP
Parson, Kansas —
10. If you’re not going to fix your half of the property line fence, at least buy a decent bull.
9. Farm caps should not be worn to weddings or funerals—unless they’re real clean.
8. Always shout out at least one warning before unloading your shotgun at trespassers—you know, just in case they turn out to be Christmas carolers or something.
7. Avoid spreading chicken litter adjacent to the new neighbors at least until they owe you a few favors.
6. Cattlemen should refrain from going up to fish-eaters at restaurants and asking what part of a cow “that” came from.
5. If the person following your slow-moving tractor is the landlord, let him by; if it’s the preacher, let him by; if it’s the guy who bought the 160 you wanted, he needs to learn patience.
4. You can pencil-out break-evens on the church bulletin—just not during the service.
3. Remove the baler parts from the picnic table when friends come over for a barbecue.
2. Bringing home a doughnut from the Extension meeting for your wife does not qualify as a “present.”
1. When schoolkids come by for a farm visit, it’s always better to say “Get off the #^*@ tractor, please.”
