by Mark Parker
Parsons, Kansas —
10. The neighbor’s former bucket calf, Holstein-Watusi-Dexter bull probably wasn’t in with your fancy replacement heifers long enough to get any of them bred.
9. The soybean market has one more rally in it before your note’s due.
8. You can always drive your pickup another dozen miles or so after the little red arrow hits “E.”
7. Your wife means it when she says not to bother getting her anything for your wedding anniversary.
6. This ol’ bomb-proof gelding doesn’t have an ounce of buck left in him.
5. If you just don’t weaken, there’s no way that old brockle-face cow will run over the top of you.
4. A piece of twine ought to hold your busted trailer gate until you get that crazy cow back to the sale barn.
3. There’s no need to get a breeding soundness exam on that high dollar virile-looking bull you just bought.
2. That funny ker-plunka sound made by the used tractor you practically stole is nothing to worry about.
1. With all this thunder and lightning, there’s no way we can possibly miss this rain.